Perry Home Alone
by Boolia
Summary: Perry is home alone while his family is away. His job: Protect a diamond from two crooks until the the family get back and return it to the Danville Museum. Can he do it?
1. Part 1

Perry Home Alone

Part 1

Phineas and Ferb were watching the news on the TV with their parents. Perry was beside them on the couch, sleeping.

"Crisis at the Danville Museum!" The announcer spoke.

_"Crisis_?" Lawrence questioned out loud on his recliner. "This can't be good. Wonder what all the hub-bub is."

The screen then showed a reporter in front of an empty museum display.

"I'm here on the scene," said the reporter. "Where a diamond has been stolen from this very case late last night." Lawrence and Linda gasped.

"A diamond?" Linda asked. "_Goodness me!_ I wonder what happened."

"Let's get the scoop from the Museum's manager." The reporter said. She went to a man with black curly hair. "Now sir, tell us what happened last night." She put the mike under the manager's mouth.

_"Well_," The manager began. "Late last at around 11:30 according to our security cameras, two thieves broke in and took the diamond." The reporter took the mike.

"Can you tell us what the diamond looks like?" She put the mike under the manager's mouth again.

"Sure! The diamond was a beautiful crystal colored. It was pretty big too." The reporter took back the mike and looked back at the screen.

"Well there you have it ladies and gentlemen, the story on the Danville Museum Crisis! Back to you, Theresa!" The screen went back to the announcer.

"Thanks Bonnie." She said. "Now, here is the footage of the crime from the security cameras." A clip then showed the crime scene. The room was dimmed and it was quiet.

Then a rope dangled down from above. A short man wearing a ski mask on his face climbed down. He gently opened the case and snatched the diamond. He pulled up his mask a bit to shout up at his accomplice.

"Okay Duncan," He whispered loudly. "I got the diamond. Pull me up!" The rope then pulled him up and the clip stopped.

"We've been told by the museum staff that the reward for catching these dastardly crooks and giving back the diamond to the Danville Museum is $1000, and free six-month admission to the museum for a family of 5- They seem very desperate… Anyway, now, for the sports."

"_Wow!_" Phineas said. "A free six month pass to the museum! And a 1,000 bucks is pretty good too— _That's it!"_ He looked at his stepbrother. "Ferb, I know what we're going to do today! We're going to catch those diamond thieving bandits and place them behind bars!" The boys jumped off the couch and ran towards the sliding door to the backyard.

"Don't forget," Linda called after them. "Isabella's play, _Heidi,_ is at eight! And before that we're going to a restrarant, we'll be leaving at six!"

_"Don't worry Mom_!" Phineas reassured her. "We won't forget. It's all in our schedule of things to do!" Linda smiled as she turned back to the TV, changing to a cooking show.

"Such imaginations…" She said, chuckling. Lawrence got up and went to the kitchen.

Phineas opened the sliding door and he and Ferb went into the backyard.

Perry's watch beeped. The now-awake platypus stood on all fours, jumped off the couch and strolled out of the room. Lawrence came in with a bowl of mini pretzels. He looked around then at his wife who had her eyes glued to the screen.

"Hey honey." He said. "Sorry to interrupt, but, where's Perry?"

_"Shhhh_!" His wife told him. "Sit down Lawrence. Alicia Ray is in the middle of explaining how to make carrot cakes." Lawrence just shrugged and sat down next to her, eating his pretzels.

"Agent P," Monogram spoke to him as soon as the platypus turned on the monitor. "Today is Dr. Doofenscmirtz's day off, Now as much as we love to send you out there to check to see if he's faking and really up to no good, we can't. There's something more important we must discuss. Now, did you hear the news on the theft of a diamond at the Dansville Museum?" Perry looked shocked. Stolen diamond? What stolen diamond? I haven't heard about a stolen diamond. The news that my owners and their parents watched must've covered it while I was asleep.

And just as if Monogram could read minds, he asked Perry,

"Were you asleep?" Perry nodded.

"Well, that's probably why you didn't hear it then. Okay, let me explain…" Carl's voice then spoke up.

"You know what they say Agent P, you snooze, you loose."

_"Carl_!" Monogram scolded his intern. "That _wasn't_ funny. Can't you see I'm explaining to Agent P what he missed because he was asleep?"

"You wouldn't be explaining it to him if he was awake."

"Hush Carl. He wasn't okay?"

"But sir…"

_"Shut up Carl._ I'm not in the mood."

"Yes sir." Monogram looked at Perry again. "Now, let me explain…"

Monogram told Perry all about the theft of the diamond at the Danville Museum.

"So, instead of going to foil Doofenshmirtz," Monogram said. "we need you to try to catch these guys and return the diamond to its rightful place in the museum. Can you do that Agent P?" The agent platypus looked at him and saluted. "Of course you can, now _go_ Agent P; _go _and stop them!" The screen went black. Perry dashed to his hover jet, put it on, turned it on and flew off.

"Okay Ferb," Phineas told him. "Now we got to track down these two criminal masterminds. We'll search uptown, downtown, the entire Tri-State Area; we won't rest until these criminals are put behind bars!" Ferb looked at his stepbrother, uncertainly. Phineas realized what his stepbrother was thinking. "Oh yeah the play. _Hmmm_, then I guess we don't have all day." He sat down. "_Hmmm_, we could make our old transporter to find lost items again, you know, the one where you insert an image of the object and it transports to you? But in order to do that we need wanted posters of the crooks or a poster of the missing diamond. Then we can just teleport them to us, making them easier to catch." He stood up. "Come on Ferb, there's bound to be wanted posters of them in several places around Danville. Let's go see if we can find them." Ferb stood up. The boys were about to go when a poster blew into Phineas' face. Phineas looked at it. It had the picture of the missing diamond. He smiled. "Hmmm, now that's convenient. Now to rebuild the transporter." He and Ferb went to get the tools from the garage. Baljeet, Buford and Isabella then came in the backyard.

_"Hey Phineas_," Isabella said sweetly_. "Whatcha doin'_?"

"_Hey Isabella_!" Phineas greeted her. "We're going to rebuild our transporter we built earlier this summer to put in the picture of the missing diamond! The diamond will come to us and then we'll correct this grave injustice!"

"And get 1,000 dollars," Ferb added, pulling up his welding mask.

_"Neat_!" Isabella said. "Let's quick build it before I have to go to get ready for the play."

So the kids went to work on rebuilding the transporter.

Hours later, they were all done.

"Wow," Phineas observed. "That took longer than I thought. We only have a few more hours left." Isabella checked her watch.

_"Oops._" She said and then looked at her friends. "I got to go! See you all tonight!" Phineas, Ferb and Baljeet waved bye to her.

"_Bye Isabella_!" Phineas said after her. "See you in the play!"

"_Break a leg_!" Ferb added.

_"Ooh_, if that was Jeet here," Buford said. "That'd be a show to see!" Baljeet looked at him.

_"Uh_, you know that's just a stage idiom, right? It means good luck." Buford eyed him.

"I know, but a bully can dream, can't he?" When Baljeet didn't answer, Buford grabbed him by the shirt collar and was about to punch him. Baljeet laughed nervously.

"Why, of course they can." Buford put Baljeet on the ground again.

_"Good! _That's what I thought." Baljeet and Buford's mom called them for supper in the distance.

"Well, we got to go to." Baljeet said. "Well, see you guys later!"

_"Bye Baljeet!"_ Phineas and Ferb waved to them.

"I'm not going!" Buford said, crossings his arms across his chest. "You can't make me." Buford's mom called again in the distance.

"Well, we can't." Phineas agreed. "But your mom can." Buford narrowed his eyes at Phineas.

"I'm _not_ a mama's boy!"

_"BUFORD_!" His mom called, louder this time. Buford's eyes widened_. _"You better come or else no watching wrestling on TV for a _week,_ young man!" The bully slumped his shoulders.

_"Ah right mom_, I'm coming; _sheech!_" He then left the backyard.

_ "Gosh Ferb_," Phineas told him. "We better hurry or we'll run out of time." Phineas was about to head to the machine to put the picture in, when all of a sudden, something hit him in the face.

_"What th_e?" He bent over the grass and parted a patch of it. It was the diamond! He picked it up and showed it to Ferb. Perry then came back. When he saw his owners and the diamond, he quickly jumped to hide in the bushes.

"Ferb, _look!_ What sheer luck, I found it! I found the lost diamond of the Danville Museum!" He then looked at the machine. "Well, I guess rebuilding this was a huge waste of time. _Oh well_, we can't change the past once it's already done. Let's show this to mom and dad!" The two boys ran in the house to show their parents.

Perry couldn't believe it! He went all over the city, trying to find the crooks and the diamond, yet he couldn't find them. How did his owners find the diamond and not him? Oh well, at least the diamond is now safe. Perry, in pet mode, strolled out of the bushes and into the house.

"You _idiot!_" A voice snapped in the bushes. It belonged to a short man with patches of hair on his chin, the same man in the clip. He slapped a skinny man on the back of his neck. The second man rubbed the back of his neck where it hit. "How can you let the diamond get away and fall into the hands of a kid? Now these kids will tell and show it to their parents, call the police and we'll go to prison! Do you know what's it's like in prison Duncan, _huh,_ do you? They got lousy rotten food there Duncan, and they make you work! Our boss will never forgive us and it's all your fault!" Duncan stood up.

"_Howie,_" He started. "It's not _my_ fault that I tripped on a garden gnome. I didn't put it there. Plus, if it's prison, they might have a lot of doughnuts." Howie crossed his hands, not looking amused.

"Would you _stop_ already with your doughnut cravings? We got bigger problems to worry about!"

"Yeah but Howie," He licked his lips. "_doughnuts!"_ Howie slapped his face.

"Why the boss chose you to be my partner is beyond me. Now come, before the police arrive!" Howie and Duncan ran off.

_"Mom, dad_!" Phineas announced once they were in the kitchen, as his parents and Candace were getting ready to go out. "Look what Ferb and I found in the backyard!" Phineas held up the diamond for his parents and sister to see. Lawrence, Candace, and Linda looked at what their son was holding up and gasped. Candace began jumping up and down, as was her habit.

"You guys found a diamond? I'm telling mo-"

"Honey, I'm standing right here," Linda said.

"Oh."

Perry came in then. Phineas looked at him.

"Oh, there you are Perry." The platypus just chattered.

_"My word_!" Lawrence said in shock. Linda bent down to his son and took it from him.

"Baby, how on _Earth _did you find this?" Linda asked her son, examinining it.

" I bet they made another one of their wacky inventions to find it." Candace told her.

"We _were_ going to do that." Phineas told her. "But as it turned out, we really didn't need to." Linda looked at her daughter.

"Candace, _shhh!_" She said sternly. Candace huffed and crossed her arms across her chest. Linda looked back at her son. "How did you find the diamond, Phineas?"

"Well, let's just say it kind of flew into my face." He then looked at them in question. "Are we going to notify the police or bring it back to the museum?" Linda looked at her watch and gasped. She looked back at her son.

"I'm afraid we don't have time. If we don't leave now, we'll never make it to the play on time." She stood up.

"But what about the diamond? We can't leave it unattended. It's too valuable, the crooks might come back and take it."

"Then we'll have to call someone to watch it for us until we come back."

"Like _who?"_ Linda thought about this a while.

"My parents might be able to do it. I'll give them a call, in the meantime, you boys get ready!"

"_Okay mom_!" The boys left to get ready. "I just hope you know what you're doing and this doesn't end with the babysitter falling asleep while watching TV and chaos ensues."

Two minutes later, they were all ready, but Linda's parents weren't there yet. Linda looked at her watch. It was ten past six.

"We can't wait any more, we got to go or we'll be late. We have reservations for six 'o clock at the restaurant"

"_But mom_, can't we wait a few more minutes?"

"Sorry sweetie, we're already late and we don't want to be more late." Phineas looked at his pet. He went over and stoked his pet's chin.

"Hey Perry, we got to go but we got a important job for you. There's a diamond that's extremely valuable, so until grandpa and grandma arrive, can you look after it for us? Make sure thieves won't steal it? If you do this for us we'll give you extra worms and fish in your supper bowl." He hugged him. "Thank you, I know you can do it." He rubbed Perry's head and stood up. "Well, we got to go, take care." He and his family left for the door. "You know what to do pal!" They closed the door after them. Perry strolled to the TV.

"We can't wait any longer." Howie told Duncan in the car. "We got to go now and tell our boss." Duncan tapped Howie on the shoulder as soon as he saw the family exit the house and get in Linda's station wagon. "I still can't believe you lost the diamond. I mean who loses an important thing like that by tripping on a puny lawn orna…" He looked at Duncan. "_What?"_

"Howie, they're leaving." Howie noticed this.

_"What luck! _This is the chance we've been _waiting _for! Get out of the car and let's go!" Howie looked at his assistant who still looked amazed out of the window. Howie kicked him slightly. "Well, don't just sit there and watch, let's hurry before they get back!" The two got out of the car. Howie locked it and the two ran for the surprisingly open window. They got under it.

"Now, on the count of three, we spring into action! Now, 1, 2…"

_"Howie_?" Duncan interrupted.

_"What?"_

"After we get the diamond, can I get a doughnut if I do good?"

"Yes, yes, you can have all the doughnuts you desire if, and only if we get the diamond back."

"_Yay_!"

"Okay, 1, 2, 3, _go!_" The two quietly jumped over the window and into the house. Perry was sitting on the sofa, watching his favorite soap opera on the television, while popping popcorn on the stove. The diamond sat beside him on the end table. He had tears in his eyes and they were streaming down his face. He had a tissue in his hand. The Kleenex box sat beside him.

"I love you, Derek!" Said the woman on TV.

"I love you too, Monica!" The man responded. "But there's something you must know." The woman looked at him, confused.

_"What_?"

"I'm from the past!" The woman gasped.

"I'm from the future!"

"I'm a werewolf!"

"I'm a vampire!" The couple laughed and then hugged and kissed each other.

Perry blew his nose in a tissue. Duncan was crying too.

"It's _beautiful!"_ He cried. "I love this soap opera." Howie smacked his companion.

"_Come on!"_ He told him. "You can watch soaps at home! Right now, we're here for the diamond." He pointed to the diamond on the end table. "There it is, now let's grab it!" Howie started towards the diamond when Duncan held him back. Howie looked at him, sternly.

_"What?"_ He whispered loudly.

"I think someone's home." Duncan replied in a whisper. "The TV's on."

"Good point Dun." Duncan looked proud of himself. "But what if they're asleep or the TV's just on and they just forgot to shut it off? If they are home, they might be too absorbed to even notice. Ether way, let just quietly tiptoe and sneak off with it! Come on, what do you say?"

"I don't know Howie, it's too risky. I'd rather not take any chances."

"Look! The boss wants the diamond delivered to him by nine. We don't have time to wait, I say we get it now and get it over with before the house owners get home! Now, you stay here and keep watch!" With that, Howie looked at the diamond on the table and quietly tiptoed towards it, not making a sound. Duncan stayed behind.

"Be careful, Howie." Duncan whispered.

Howe gently touched the diamond. "_I got it, Duncan_!" Duncan sighed in relief but gasped when a green hand sat on Howie's hairy hand. Howie froze in fear.

Perry grew wide-eyed when he felt something hairy on top of the diamond. He slowly turned around and saw a hairy-chinned man staring at him. Howie grinned at him.

"That's a good platypus, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just going to take this diamond and…" Perry pulled the diamond out from under him and jumped to the floor. He stared at the crooks.

'Give it here, platypus." Howie spoke to Perry as if he was a dog. "Come on, give it here, I'm not going to hurt you, just give it to me then we'll be on our way. Come on." The platypus shook his head. Howie looked angry.

"Why you!" He lunged at Perry. The mammal ran, dodging the attack. Howie hit the wall. He rubbed his head and stood up. "Oh yeah? Is that your game, huh? Well, two can play at that! Come on, give it here!" He ran after Perry. Perry ran as fast as he could, clenching the diamond in his hands. Howie tripped on the carpet, stood back up and resumed chasing Perry. "Come on, give it!" He chased after Perry through the entire first floor. Perry stood on the steps and looked behind him. Howie chucked.

"Wise guy, _huh_? I don't think so!" He was about to go up the stairs when Duncan grabbed him.

"It's too dangerous!" He cried. He pulled him out the window.

Perry wondered where were Linda's parents? Surely they'd be here by now! Then he heard the telephone ring. It rang three times before the answering machine picked up.

"Hello Linda dear," Spoke the voice. It was Linda's dad, Clyde Flynn. "Sorry, we're going to be late. Your mother and I got in a car accident and your mom might've broken her leg. Don't worry, everything's fine. We're on our way to the hospital now. I'll be with your mom a little while, but then I'll be right over! Bye dear, we love you lots!" Then the answering machine shut off.

Perry quickly went to the phone and dialed 911.

"_Hello, _this is 911, what is the state of your emergency?" A voice asked on the other end. Perry then chattered loudly into the phone.

"I'm sorry sir, I don't speak your language." Then the voice got angry. "_Look, if_ this is a joke, it's _not_ funny! We run a serious shtick here, we got no time for games!" Perry then hung up. _Drat_! He's a platypus; the police won't understand him!

"What are you _doing_?" Howie commanded to know. "Let _go _of me!" He shoved Duncan aside.

"We can't go back in there." Duncan said. Howie looked at him like he was nuts.

"Oh, what are you _saying?_ Of course we can!"

"But you don't _understand! _There's an animal in there keeping watch. We'll never get it." Howie rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, a stupid _platypus! _They're mindless, they don't do much! I say we go back in!"

_ "But Howie…"_

"You want your doughnuts? Now quit your complaining and let's go back in and snatch it before somebody comes!"

_"But_…"

_"Now Duncan_!" Duncan looked down, ashamed.

"_Yes sir."_ The crooks went back in the window.

This is _my_ house too! Perry thought to himself. Phineas, Ferb and the rest of the family gave me this house to live in with them and I'm not going to let some crooks come in and steal this diamond! Phineas and Ferb are _counting _on me; I must to protect this diamond and this house until Linda's dad comes no matter what!


	2. Part 2

Part 2

Perry worked fast, setting up several booby traps for the robbers, moving at astounding speed. He got Ferb and Phineas' skateboards and set them on the top of the stairs. He had collected three of the boys' boxes of Playgos, emptied the contents all over the floor, filled them with milk, and set them under the window by the front door. The platypus also had gotten a black spray paint can from the garage, got out the Christmas lights, and filled up two water balloons in the sink.

Outside he had gotten out the sprinklers and set them up in the backyard.

Back inside his popcorn was ready. He got it out from the microwave, closed the door and dumped it all over the floor with the Playgos. He picked up the diamond from the end table and waited.

Duncan was first. He stuck his head in the window and saw the platypus, who was in his mindless act; Perry chattered, he screamed. He fell and his hands and face splashed into the three Playgo boxes, his whole upper torso got covered in milk. He tried to push himself up, but the milk was slippery, he fell again.

"_Oh, for crying out loud!" _Howie said from outside. He jumped into the window, grabbed Duncan by the collar of his shirt and pulled. The boxes dropped off slowly . He stood him up. Duncan brushed the milk out of his eyes and spat some out of his mouth.

_"There!"_ Howie said. "You're free, now lets go get that diamond!" He was about to go when he felt something tugging at his shoelace. He looked down. Perry was tugging hard at it.

"_Hey; knock it off_! My shoelace ain't a chew toy" Perry tugged and tugged. The man sighed and took off his shoe. He held it out to him like it was a tennis ball or a Frisbee.

"_You want it? Go get it!"_ He threw it at Perry. Perry ducked his head, making it miss. Howie growled in frustration, took off his other shoe, and threw it at Perry again. Again Perry dodged. Howie growled in frustration again. He was about to lunge at him when Perry went and bit his stocking feet. He yelled and tried to shake him off.

_"Ahhhhhh_! What are you _doing! _Not my socks, _get off_!" He was about to kick him off when Perry took his socks off. He then threw it with Howe's shoes at the bottom of the stairs.

"I'll get you for that, little beast!" He lunged at the platypus who dodged again. He was about to lunge again when he heard Duncan laugh. Howie looked around at him. Duncan looked down, Perry was tugging at his shoelace too!

"It _tickles_, Howie!" Perry took his shoe and sock off and threw them to the pile. He did the same to his other shoe and sock. The platypus then looked at them. _Well? Aren't you going to get them?"_

"Don't just _stand_ there!" Howie said. "_Get that darn platypus_!"

This time both Howie and Duncan lunged at Perry at the same time. The platypus dodged, making the two slide into the mess with the popcorn and the Playgos. The platypus strolled through without a problem. He looked at them when he was at the stairs. The crooks did the same. _Well? Aren't you going to catch me? _

The two stood up and felt pain in their feet from the popcorn and the Playgos. They both jumped in pain. The platypus stood on two feet, put on his fedora and showed the two crooks his badge. They looked at it.

"You think we're scared of an animal agent?" Howie questioned the platypus. "Yeah right! We're not scared, are we Dun?" He looked at Duncan who was trembling in fear.

"Maybe we shouldn't." He told Howie. "I mean he might be highly skilled. We should leave before anything bad happens to us."

"And leave the diamond here? I don't think so! We have gone this far and we're not letting a stupid platypus stand in our way!"

"But Howie…" Perry continued running up the stairs.

_"GET HIM_!" Howie shouted. They put their socks and shoes on lightning fast and raced upstairs.

Perry got the two water balloons and whistled to the crooks. They looked at Perry who threw the balloons right at their faces. They both screamed as water splashed in their faces. The platypus gave smiled in a laughing manner. Howie looked at him.

"You think that's funny, do you? Well, we'll see who gets the last laugh when we're done with you!" They charged up the stairs. The platypus ran to Linda and Lawrence's room and shut the door. Howie knocked on the door.

_"Oh, platypus_!" He called from the other side of the door. "Be a good platypus and open up!" The door didn't open. "_PLATYPUS, OPEN UP!"_

The door opened up a crack; a green hand went out and offered the diamond to Howie.

"That's it. Good platypus, good platypus." Howie was about to grab it when Perry withdrew it quickly. "Why you stinker!" The door then opened again. Howie looked confused and looked in, the lights were out.

_'Platypus, platypus, come out, come out, wherever you are!_" Perry then skidded in front of him, spray can in hand. Howie looked at him. Perry quickly sprayed in the face. Howie clenched his eyes shut and screamed as the platypus darted under his legs, dropping the spray can.

Howie opened his eyes. He now looked like a raccoon! He got to his feet and raced back to the door, disoriented by the paint in his eyes. He bumped into the door and fell to the ground.

_"I got you platypus!"_ Duncan said as Perry bolted into Phineas' and Ferb's room. "No one can hide from Duncan!" He raced for the door and was about to go in when Perry slammed it in his face. Duncan yelled in agony, clutching his nose. He fell down.

He sprang to his feet and rushed in. He looked for the platypus.

"I know you're in here!" The platypus opened the closet door. He stood above him on a ledge in the closet. Beside him was a trunk of books.

"Give me a sign as to where you are!" The platypus pushed the trunk and it fell down hard on Duncan's head. Duncan collapsed as books came falling out all over him.

The platypus jumped down from the shelf , grabbed Phineas' baseball launcher, and raced out of the door.

Duncan sat up. He looked at all the books that were on him. There were books on engineering, construction, roller coaster mechanics, quantum physics, and more. Duncan stood up.

"_Hey! What gives?_ What with all these? Don't these kids have any _imagination?"_ He then spotted a book from the corner of his eye. He reached out and picked it up. He looked at it. There was a picture of a kid riding on a magical flying broom on it. It was titled: _Henry Porter and the Warlock's Stone_.

"Now, _this _is a good read." He sat down beside the trunk and began reading it.

When Howie saw Perry, he ran to him.

"You won't get away now!" He yelled. Perry put a baseball in the baseball launcher, aimed it for Howie's legs and fired it.

Howe tripped and fell down. He stood back up. Perry grabbed another ball and did the same. Howie tripped again and fell. Perry kept grabbing balls and firinbg, Howie kept tripping and falling over them. Before he could stand up, another ball made him fall. Perry inched towards the stairs after every ball. When he was completely out of balls, the semi aquatic mammal dropped the launcher on the floor and ran downstairs. Howie, covered in bruises, sprang on his feet and went to where Duncan was.

_ "Duncan_!" Howie said once he slid in the doorway. "Come on, the platypus is going downstairs." Duncan looked at Howie, and then burst out laughing.

"_Raccoon face, raccoon face_!" he hooted.

"Oh, _real _mature of you Duncan! _Grow up_, will ya? Now come on, we got to get that diamond away from that pesky platypus!"

"Hang on How, I'm reading." He looked back at his book. Howie gave a sigh of frustration, went in and dragged his partner out by his shirt collar.

"This is why I don't read Dun!" Howie told him. "They rot your brain with nonsense imagination!"

"But imagination is good for you How, They let you transport to different worlds and be who you want to be!"

"Imagination is for ignorant little kids!" He let go of Duncan and looked at him. "They're both things I hate, kids and imagination."

"And now pets!"

"Yeah, and now pets and other animals that get in my way. Now come help me downstairs." Duncan looked at his book again. "_NOW _DUNCAN!" Startled, Duncan dropped the book. He sprang to his feet. The two went to the stairs.

They saw Perry waiting at the bottom. He waved the diamond in his hand, stuck out his tongue and dashed off.

_"Hey_!" Duncan snapped. "Sticking out your tongue at people is not nice!"

"Just get him!"

_"Roger_!" They were about to go when Duncan stepped on Ferb's skateboard. He fell and rolled all the way down.

"_Duncan_!" Howie shouted. "You got to watch where you're going otherwise you'll… " He stepped on Phineas' and rode on it on his tummy all the way down. He sprang to his feet. Duncan did the same.

They saw the platypus, sitting on the couch. The villains went into the room and were about to grab Perry when the platypus sprang down. Duncan got hold of the seat cushion instead. He was surprised; it was all wet!

"_Hey Howe_?" Duncan asked. "Why is it all wet?"

"He probably went to the bathroom on it." Duncan immediately dropped the cushion on the ground and looked disgusted.

_"Gross_! Why did he have to pee on it, How? Why did he? That is so _wrong!"_

_"Focus_ Duncan!" Howie snapped. Duncan put the cushion back on the couch.

Howie then saw Candace's Ducky Momo plush, on a catapult. He snickered to himself. "How old _are_ these children? _Five?"_ He stopped laughing when he noticed Perry beside it. He ran towards the platypus. Perry then activated the contraption. It sprang up and flung Ducky Momo at Howie. Howie tried to run, but the plush was too fast for him. It hit him right in the face. Howie fell down, clutching the duck. Duncan looked at him and laughed.

"I didn't know you like Ducky Momo!" He fell onto the floor, laughing. Howie sneered at him.

_"Shut up_!" He shouted. The platypus ran outside. "Come on, he's getting away!" He threw the duck aside. They then got to their feet and chased after Perry.

Once outside, they saw the platypus in front of the Transporter. The two ran towards him. Perry quickly put a picture in and pressed a few buttons.

In a few moments, Rover, the robotic dog, appeared.

"_Cool_!" Duncan observed. "A robotic dog! I always wanted one for Christmas, but Santa never gave me one." He then bent down to one knee and gestured it to come foreword. _"Come on boy, come on boy_!" Rover flipped in the air in excitement, then ran to Duncan.

_"No, no_!" Howie shouted. "Stay back you!" Too late, the dog jumped onto Duncan. Duncan fell over laughing as the enormous dog was licking him all over, his tail wagging. Howie picked up a stick and threw it at the dog. When it hit, Rover stopped and looked at Howie.

"Get _away,_ you overgrown metallic mutt!" He yelled. The robotic dog then growled, his eyes now red. He faced Howie and pawed the ground. "That's right, come get me you stupid animal!" He threw another stick but the dog chomped on it, snapping it in two. Howie looked at the dog.

_"Uh oh!"_ The dog charged at him. Howie tried to run away, but the dog was too fast for him and attacked him to the ground.

"Back, back, back!" A frightened Howie shouted. "I'm sorry, just don't eat me!"

The dog just kept growling at him. Howie kept shielding himself and screaming with fright, when Perry whistled to the dog. Rover looked at Perry. In the platypus's hand was a robotic doggy bone. Rover panted with excitement. Perry threw it in the transporter and the dog ran after it.

Once chewing on the bone, Agent P pressed a button and the dog and bone disappeared. Howie sighed with relief. He stood up.

"Thank goodness that dog is out of the picture," he said. "Now Duncan, get him!" He and Duncan ran towards Perry. Perry ran towards the sprinklers and turned them on. The bad guys screamed and slipped on the wet grass.

The platypus then slid past easily and stuck out his tongue. He ran back inside. The villains then got up and raced inside after the platypus.

Perry got the diamond and dialed his boss on his watch. The police might not help him, but Monogram can! He just wondered why he never thought of this before.

"Hello Agent P," Monogram said, when he appeared on screen. Perry quickly chattered loudly, _help me!_ In the background, Duncan and Howie ran up and tripped over the Christmas lights which he's strung like a trip wire.

_"Whoa, whoa, Agent P!"_ Monogram told the platypus. "_Slow down_! Now, what do you need?" Perry showed him the diamond. "Is that the missing diamond from the Dansville Museum?" Before Perry could nod, Howie snatched off his watch. Perry looked at him in fear. "_Agent P?"_

"Were you trying to call for help with this puny watch? Well, _not anymore_!" He threw it down on the ground. Perry watched in horror as Howie smashed it to bits with his foot.

"There, now you can't call anyone. _Tough luck!_ Ha!_"_ Perry picked up the damaged pieces as Howie and Duncan laughed.

"You really showed him, Howie!" Duncan laughed.

"Yeah, I know I did."

The screen at the O.W.C.A headquarters went dead and now showed a snowy picture. Major Monogram turned to his intern.

"Carl, Agent P's in trouble, I can feel it. We got to go to his host family's house immediately."

"Yes sir!" Carl agreed. "I can feel it too. Should we take anything with us?"

"No time Carl. We'll going to have to improvise. Now let's go and hurry, Agent P needs us! "He headed towards the exit.

"But sir,"

"Now Carl, we may not have much time!"

"Yes sir." Carl followed his boss outside and headed to the Flynn-Fletcher residence.

Perry tried to escape again but before he had a chance to, Howie grabbed the platypus by the scruff of his neck.

_"Oh no,"_ He said. "You're not escaping this time." Perry tried to get free, but Howie held on to him tight. Howie then pinned Perry to the wall. He snatched the diamond from Perry's hand. "I'll take that!" He then tossed it to Duncan who caught it.

_"Duncan_!" He told him. "You hold onto this! I got a score to settle with this platypus before he ruins any more of our plans."

"Yes boss!" Howie looked at Perry with a sneer. He pointed to his eyes.

"Look at what you did to my eyes you pest! I'm going to beat you up so bad and tie you with those Christmas lights over there, leaving you stuck as we make our getaway. Now, any last prayers platypus?" Perry shook in fear. He then saw Ferb's bubble gun on the end table, He then got an idea.

He punched Howie in the eye. Howie screamed as he dropped him. Perry quickly grabbed the gun and pointed it at them. Duncan panicked, thinking it was a real gun.

"_Duncan!"_ Howie screamed, "get him!"

"I can't boss," His assistant answered. "The platypus has a gun."

"It's not a real gun you fool. It's a bubble gun."

"Nope, I'm not taking any chances."

_"Ugh_! You're unbelievable Dun, afraid of a little child's plaything."

"But what if you're wrong Howie, what if it was painted to look like a bubble gun and the platypus is holding a real live gun? He is an agent you know."

"Duncan, kids live here. They wouldn't leave a gun laying anywhere in the house and let a kid pick it up. It's not natural."

"But Howie…" Perry fired the gun. Bubbles floated out. Duncan screamed, shielding his eyes while still holding the diamond.

_"See_?" Howie said. "What did I tell you?" Perry put down the gun and whipped his tail around Duncan's feet. Duncan fell to the ground, tossing the diamond in the air. Perry's eyes went huge at the sight of the diamond flying in mid-air, so did Howie's. The two ran after it but both rammed into each other, trying to prevent the other from getting it first. They fell to the ground.

"Oh no you don't." Howie told Perry. "It's mine!" Perry chattered madly and bit Howe's arm. Howie screamed. This gave Perry time to run to get the diamond before Howie did. Before he could get there through, Howie grabbed his tail and dragged him back. He grabbed him by the neck again.

"Now, time to end this! "He was about to give Perry a knuckle sandwich when Duncan spoke up.

_"Uh, Howie_." Howie turned around madly at Duncan.

_"What_?" He snapped. Duncan pointed upwards. Howie looked at where he was pointing at. The diamond was falling towards the floor!

"QUICK, _GET IT!"_ Howie yelled. He tossed Perry back at the couch as the two ran after it. Perry hit his head and rubbed it. Howie and Duncan slid on the floor.

_"NOOOOOOOOOO_!" They screamed as they bumped into each other. Perry then ran only to be dragged back by Howe. He then shielded his eyes, waiting for it to smash into itty-bitty pieces.

To all of their surprise, the diamond didn't break. They all looked up. Monogram and Carl stood in the doorway. Carl had the diamond in his hand.

"Nice catch Carl!" Monogram told the intern.

"Uh, thanks!" Carl spoke back. "You know, the gem was never in any real danger, diamond is the hardest naturally occurring substance known to man, it's _crystals_ that are fragile," Monogram looked at Perry who had escaped from Howie's grasp.

"Hey!" Howie snapped. "Get back here!"

"Are you okay, Agent P?" Monogram asked. Perry nodded then pointed at the two bad guys on the floor. Monogram looked at them. "Are those the diamond thieves?" Perry nodded. Duncan and Howie bolted to their feet.

"We're not the crooks." Howie told them. "Honest! We never stole anything in our lives, isn't that right Duncan!"

"Uh, yeah!"

"We were just going to return the diamond to the museum. This family stole the diamond, not us; we're innocent!"

"A likely story." Monogram said. "Agent P's family wouldn't turn on him when he's been here all this, time and they sure won't now."

"It's _true,_ I tell you!" Howie turned to Carl. "Never mind about that, just give us the diamond and we'll return it safely to the Danville Museum." Perry looked at Carl and shook his head, '_He's lying Carl, don't do it_!'

"Come on." Howie said. "Can't you see? He's turning on you; he's trying to make us look bad. Don't trust him."

"Carl," Monogram told him. "Remember who your real friends are." Carl looked at the crooks then at Agent P.

"Do you take me as an idiot?" He said at last. "Agent P will never turn on us, not now, not ever! We're keeping the diamond until it's returned safely to the museum. Major Monogram, call 911. We have our crooks." Howie grabbed the Christmas lights.

"Whoa, hold on, old man." Howie told him. "I don't think that's a good idea." He then called to Duncan and the two got to work, amazingly fast, tying them up in the Christmas lights.

_ "Well, well, well_." Howie said once they were done tying the three up. He went to Perry. "Didn't expect to get trap in your own trap, huh?" Perry glared at him. He laughed then turned to Duncan. They all heard police sirens from outside. Howie looked panicked.

"I thought you didn't call 911."

"I didn't." He looked at Monogram. "Sir?" Monogram shrugged. "Beats me, Agent P?" Agent P shook his head. _Well, I did earlier but, hello, platypus, they can't understand me._

'Well, somebody did."

"Duncan, grab the diamond!" Howie told him. "Quick, before the police come." Our work here is finished." Duncan grabbed the diamond from Carl.

"Yes sir!" He went to his boss and handed him the diamond. Howie grabbed it.

"You won't get away with this." Monogram said.

"Oh, we won't? I think we just did oldie!" He and Duncan laughed as they headed towards the door.

Duncan then stopped as he saw a police officer in their way. He did not look happy. Howie just kept going and laughing.

"Uh, Howie." Duncan spoke. Howie stopped laughing and turned to snap at him.

_"What_?" He then bumped into the police officer. He stopped, looked up and laughed nervously.

"Hey, officer." He said. "What can I do for you?" The officer took the diamond from Howie. Howie again laughed nervously.

"Okay Donald!" He said. "Cuff him!"

"Yes sir!" A second police officer piped up. He took out a pair of handcuff and cuffed them onto Howie. The first police officer did the same with Duncan.

"You guys are under arrest for stealing the diamond of the Danville Museum." Howie laughed nervously again.

_ "Stole_?" Howie faked. "We never stole anything in our lives. Right Duncan?"

"Uh, yeah!" Duncan piped up. "Never in our entire lives."

_"Yeah, yeah!"_ The first officer said as he and Donald dragged them away. "Save it for the judge." The police chief then came in and untied Carl, Monogram and Perry.

"Thank you for untying us officer." Monogram thanked him.

"Thank you for the call." Monogram looked confused. "We didn't call you."

"Yeah." Carl added. "We were going to call you if those goons haven't tied us up." The officer stood up.

"Well whoever did, did it just in time. Come on outside and tell me the details." The three of them followed the officer outside.

"The play was _awesome_," Phineas said into Candace's cell phone. "Your role as Heidi was terrific. It was a real tearjerker when Klara, AKA Melissa, learned how to walk. Ferb is still teary eyed from that." He looked at his brother who had a tear in his eye and blew his nose from a Kleenex box lying on his lap.

"My brother is so emotional."

When they turned around the corner, they saw the police cars.

_"My word_!" observed Lawrence who was driving. "Looks like someone's house had a bit of trouble, didn't it?"

"Honey!" Linda told her husband. "That's _our_ house!"

"Why, of course it is darling." Candace looked up from her Sixteen magazine she was reading.

"What the heck's going on?" She asked. Phineas noticed this.

"Oops." He said quickly. "Got to go Isabella; talk to you later, bye!" He hung up and gave it to his sister who put it in her pocket. When the family parked the car behind Clyde Flynn's car, they got out. When Clyde saw them, he went to greet them.

_"Mom_?" Phineas wanted to know. "What's going on? Is everything alright?"

"We'll soon see, dear." His mom reassured him.

"Hello Linda and family." Clyde greeted.

"Hey dad!" Linda responded. Phineas and Ferb took turns hugging him. "What happened?"

"It appears you had break-in at your house while you were away." Clyde replied. "Two thieves came and almost took that diamond you told me about. I would've been here sooner but I had to be with your mom in the emergency room." Phineas and Ferb stopped hugging and looked at their grandpa.

"Grandma's in the emergency room!"

"Dad, is she all right?" Linda asked worriedly.

"She's fine! Merely a broken leg. She's a tough old gal."

"I hope Perry's all right." Phineas said. "He was home all by himself." They then saw Perry by Monogram and Carl as Monogram was talking to the police chief. They ran up to hug him. _"Perry_! Are you alright, boy?" Perry chattered. The police chief then came by, followed by Monogram and Carl.

"Is that your platypus, son?" The police chief asked. Phineas put down his pet and looked at him.

"Yes," He answered. "His name is Perry."

"I see, and he was all alone, with the stolen diamond, correct?"

"Yeah, we had reservations at a restaurant and then we went to see our friend's play."

"Why didn't you call the police before you left?"

"Well….to be honest, I don't know why."

"We were running late." Linda replied. The chief looked at her. "and we thought by calling the police right away, you would ask us questions and ask where we live making us more late. My daughter was going to call you guys on her cell when we were on the road." She looked at Candace. "Did you honey?" Candace smiled guiltily.

"I was talking and texting Jeremy the whole time." Linda sighed and slapped her face, shaking her head with disappointment.

"Honey, the police are way more important than your boyfriend."

"I know that mom. I guess I got carried away and forgot. I'm sorry, but hey, at least the diamond wasn't stolen."

"You should be very proud of your platypus young man." The chief said to Phineas.

"We are." The boy explained, petting Perry. "We are so fortunate to have Perry, right Ferb?" The boy looked at his stepbrother who gave him the thumbs up. Phineas looked back at the chief. "Yeah, my bro agrees with me. We couldn't want a better pet, none are more extraordinary as Perry is."

"Well, I'm just glad he wasn't harmed." The chief said, smiling "He might have protected this diamond until we came." Phineas and Ferb looked up, their eyes brightening.

"_Really?"_

_ "Yup! _If I were you, I'd give him an extra special reward."

"Oh, we _will_!" He looked at Perry and hugged him. "I knew you could protect the diamond until somebody came home, pal! I love you." Perry chattered with a smile.

"Another thing," The chief continued. Phineas looked at him again. "The criminals claim your platypus is a spy working for some organization. We think it's preposterous, what do you think?"

"Yeah, it's preposterous. The crooks are delusional."

"We figured that. Well, since your grandpa made the call, he'll get the reward money and the free six month pass." They all went to him.

"Well Clyde," He told the senior. "You can go to the museum now and collect that reward money and pass. We'll give the diamond back to them after we're done here."

"Fine." Clyde said. "But I want my daughter and her family to come with me. They should get half of the money." The family all gasped.

"Really, grandpa?" asked an excited Phineas.

"Really, my boy. After all, like the chief said, your pet might've been a hero tonight." He looked at Perry who only chattered.

The next day, the family drove to the museum, where they were greeted cheerily and ceremoniously given the money and the passes. They then all got in the car and drove home.

"How are we going to spend our money, kids?" Linda asked them once they were on the road.

"I'm going to spend all my money on clothes, shoes and gifts for Jeremy!" Candace explained.

"We're going to spend the money on new toys for Perry." Phineas answered. "And some deluxe brand platypus food." Candace looked at her brother in disbelief.

"What?" She wanted to know. "You got to be kidding me! You want to spend your money just for that? Why don't you spend it on something like I don't know, say your crazy inventions?"

"Sorry Candace, but Ferb and I agreed to spend the money on Perry."

"Whatever."

"And you, dad," Linda said. "You are paying for mom's operation?"

"You got it!" Clyde replied.

'Well, at least that's normal." Candace grumbled.

They then drove on and on under the summer sun.


	3. Epologe

Epilogue

The Flynn-Fletchers went to the museum again with Clyde and Betty Jo. Betty Jo had a cast on her leg. Phineas looked at the diamond display but was shocked at what he saw under it. The boys raced to it after they were done in line, followed by the family and their grandparents. Underneath the display was a newspaper clipping withthe headline 'Diamond saved thanks to Platypus."

"_Wow grandpa_!" Phineas observed. "Take a look at this. Clyde squinted but couldn't read it.

"I'm sorry my boy." He told his grandson. "But my eyes aren't what they used to be. Can you read it to me?"

"Sure grandpa!" And with that, the boy turned to the newspaper clipping and read out loud.

"_Wow_!" Betty Jo said. "That platypus of yours sure is a hero."

"He sure is grandma, he sure is."

The family then went to look at other stuff in the museum, and then to see a movie about platypuses in the museum's IMAXINE movie theater.


End file.
